So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Randomize
