some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We're too hungover to prance.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
