yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
