Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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