Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
