i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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