drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
