i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
