I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
