i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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