Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize