i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
