Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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