mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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