I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
