I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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