Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
