Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
