it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
