The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
