Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
