Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize