Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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