let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
