Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm going to jail i love you
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize