I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize