it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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