Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
