we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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