We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
