we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize