the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Did you pee in the oven last night??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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