I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
