And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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