i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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