I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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