Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
