i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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