made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
