She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
