is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
