Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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