I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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