my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
