I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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