He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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