I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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