Heybabeimwearingurpanties
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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