At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
