Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
