i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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