I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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