Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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