yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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