My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
