I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
