I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
